"Cat dead, details later"
-Herbert West, Re-Animator
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[We open the show with the Astro Creeps--that is, Koznar and Tempest--lurking down the steps to the peculiar basement of their new peculiar, suburban home. The screen is black and white, just as it had been at the beginning of the Last of Us event in Level Up. That was also the last time we saw the Creeps in their suburban home, surrounded by neighbors that were a little too friendly, and lawns that were just a little too neatly kept. It was a neighborhood where the smiles were just a little too fabricated, and the cheerfulness was a little too bright. They make their way down to the basement, where they find Daedalus dressed in a white labcoat, his hair spiked this way and that. His eyes have a bit of anxious excitement within them. If the program were in color, you would see just how green his eyes are.]
He stands in front of a table, with beakers and tubes filled with moving liquid that would be all the colors of the rainbow, again if the program were in color, but it isn't, so the liquid is instead different shades of gray. At the sight of Daedalus, the studio audience cheers as if Daedalus is some type of hero. He takes a moment to break the fourth wall and acknowledge his fans in the audience, grinning and giving a wink. He doesn't seem to see the masked and face painted entities lurking down to see what he's up to. Koznar is the first to reach the bottom.]
Koznar: Daedalus! Just what in the hell do you think you're doing down here?
[Daedalus jumps, perhaps a little overdramatically, as if startled. He drops a test tube of transparent liquid on the floor and the tube bursts. Gasping, he puts his hands on his hips and stares at Koznar while shaking his head with disapproval. The studio audience laughs, lightly.]
Daedalus: Oh, Koznar, you startled me!
[He doesn't seem to notice the fragments of glass on the floor as he steps through it. Behind him, despite all of its rage, there is still just a rat in a cage, waiting to be experimented on. It seems to know its fate. Perhaps a descendent of Splinter, even. Things get weird here, even if you're accustomed to the bizarre. Accept us and we'll accept you, yeah?]
Tempest: Just seeing what you're up to, D.
Daedalus: Oh. Well, I'm just experimenting on our friend here.
[He makes a motion with his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the rat in the cage. Tempest frowned behind his mask.]
Tempest: What are your intentions?
[Daedalus sighs, annoyed. The studio audience laughs, briefly, lighter than before.]
Daedalus: Tempest, don't you understand what's going on here in the suburbs? Here, in the in-between? In the cracks of reality, the space between the Global Coalition's universe and the universe of Carnage?
Tempest: The universe of what?
[He seems genuinely confused. This annoys Daedalus even more. He throws his head back, just like Purity, and rolls his eyes, just like E--just like Purity, as well.]
Daedalus: Carnage. Quite frankly, it's a place we would probably fit in better. But, you don't like fitting in, now do you?
[The studio audience responds with "ooooooh" as if Daedalus had just burned him. Tempest gazes out at the studio audience and they abruptly silence themselves. He stares back at Daedalus.]
Tempest: This is all very confusing, if I'm being honest.
[Tempest says it as an epiphany comes over him: he doesn't remember how they got to this house. He remembers a fire, the smell of smoke, a masked ninja aligning with Ny-Otep, or Koznar, in the middle of the night, a newspaper article advertising the horrific deaths of some of the neighborhood's residents. Other than that? Nothing. He looks up to see Daedalus grinning at him like the grim reaper might, and takes a note that he's holding out between his fingertips. He opens the note and reads it to himself: Don't think about it so much. He sighs, and throws the tiny piece of paper over his shoulder.]
Tempest: Can we just get to the fucking point, D?
Daedalus: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[He holds his hands up as if blocking an attack, dramatically covering his face. The studio audience laughs.]
Daedalus: Since when did you talk like ol' JC, my friend?
[Who da fuck is JC, the Tempest thinks. Something inside of him is opening up again.]
Daedalus: (sighing) Don't you know what your next assignment is? Who your next assignment is?
[It occurs to Tempest that he actually doesn't know who his next opponent is supposed to be. Is it the Magician? The showman coming for his revenge, coming for the championship that he wants back? The Arsonist? The man who melted Tempest's face only a short time ago, and taking with it, his identity? Was it the Final Girl, imposing their inevitable sequel upon him, before he was ready, as some sort of damn sneak attack? That would be very intelligent on her part, he thinks. But, she's the World champ, the High Society now. He doubts very much that she'd give him the time of day these days, despite his impact on the division he resides. What a cast of characters in this universe, huh? The Magician, the Arsonist, the Final Girl, the Astro Creeps...]
Daedalus: ...the Lab Rat King.
[Tempest's eyes narrow. Motherfucker doesn't need a moniker assigned to him by the Astro Creeps. He has is own, already established. He's the Lab Rat King. A fucking experiment that went wrong. A rabid human form of Cujo waiting for Tempest to fall into his clutches, to bite and transfer his blood into the blood of the storm, to spread his disease. It was the Freddy Vs. Jason match of the Global Coalition and Carnage. It was one hell of an attraction match. For the first time in sixteen months, Tempest thinks of those behind the scenes of the Global Coalition, the gods of that universe, and realizes, they're geniuses. They're fucking geniuses. He laughs at the thought.]
Tempest: The Lab Rat King.
[Daedalus nods, as if that's the answer to the meaning of life... as if that name unlocks Pandora's box itself. He grins, a mad man in a lab coat.]
Koznar: So what? Are you trying to replicate such a failed experiment as the Lab Rat King? I feel that would take much longer than the time we've been given to study our opponent.
Daedalus: ...except you're wrong! The Lab Rat King is a failed replicate of our own failed experiment...
[He pauses, either for dramatic effect, or because he wants one of his students to come up with the answer on their own. He sees a light flicker in Tempest's steel blue eyes, and grins with satisfaction. Tempest's eyes slowly move to Koznar.]
Tempest: ...you. Koznar, you're the failed lab experiment. The original Lab Rat King.
[Koznar takes a step back, startled.]
Koznar: Me!? The fuck do you mean!?
[Tempest peers at him from behind the mask, stepping forward. For the first time since Tempest has ever known the monster, he actually steps backwards. Tempest has watched Koznar toss bodies like they were nothing for well over a year, now. He's never seen the monster take a step back from anyone. Yet, here he was, stepping away from Tempest, as if Tempest were an abusive master.]
Tempest: Do you have any recollection of your origin? Your history?
Daedalus: I assure you, Koznar... Kosnar... Ny-Otep... Crawling Chaos... The Lab Rat King, he's an awful lot like you are, but... smaller.
[Koznar shakes his head, in denial.]
Koznar: I'm not a fuckin' lab experiment, and you know it.
Daedalus: No, but you were created in my image, weren't you?
[Koznar reaches out with startling speed, grabbing Daedalus by the throat. He charges forward, carrying Daedalus with him and lifting him against the basement wall. Daedalus stares down at his monster, a monster who has yet to unleash his potential, and smiles. Koznar does not. Tempest tilts his head curiously from behind them. The studio audience lets out another "oooohh" which seems insincere, hollow.]
Tempest: ...no. It's not true.
[Koznar hesitates, loosening his grip slightly, but still lifting Daedalus off his feet against the wall.]
Tempest: We were all created by someone else. I hesitate to call him God, but he is our creator. From the beginning, I've always been self-aware. I've always known my god, and I've always known what I am. We were created in another man's image. A man I can't put a face on.
[Koznar loosened his grip entirely and the Astro Creeps gazed upon Tempest.]
Koznar: ...you're a prophet, then.
Tempest: No. No, I'm just self-aware. I see what he allows me to see. We serve him, but someone like Lab Rat King serves a different god. The Final Girl and the Witch? They serve a different god--or goddess--and perhaps the very same one. I don't know why I know these things, but I do. It's like... our god has given me the information, or fragments of the information, like the fragments of that test tube you've been walking all over, D, and left it open for us to put together ourselves, if we want to.
[Daedalus and Koznar both stare at Tempest, jaws cartoonishly open wide.]
Tempest: And you know what I'm a little fearful of?
[Silence from the other Astro Creeps.]
Tempest: I feel like our gods work together to alter our world. Our fate, like many others, are predetermined, by our god. Our creator. Our author.
[Daedalus steps forward, his blood boiling.]
Daedalus: You shut the fuck up! Look around, goddamnit! Look around, what do you see!? No gods, no laws! We make our own rules. We are our own gods, Tempest!
[Tempest gazes at the lab coat and grins behind his mask.]
Tempest: I guess you might consider yourself a god, Daedalus. You only say what he wants you to say. Just like I do.
Daedalus: You shut the fuck up... I don't know what's gotten into you, but--
Tempest: The Lab Rat King... he's gotten into me... already.
[The two stare at each other. Koznar looks from Daedalus to Tempest, back to Daedalus, and back to Tempest once more.]
Koznar: Relax, Tem--
Tempest: No!
[Tempest cocks his head into Koznar's direction. Koznar steps backwards, uneasy.]
Tempest: The Lab Rat King...
[Images of Carnage's UltraViolent champion flash onto the screen, fading in and out quickly, the Psycho theme playing as the images flash on and off. As if he's a legitimate threat. From what the Astro Creeps gather, the Lab Rat King is as legitimate as they come.]
Tempest: I know you, because I am you. The Global Coalition and Carnage could not have come up with a more perfect match up. Lab Rat King, you are cut from the same cloth as I am, the Original Astro Creep. The Cosmic Monster. The Phantom in the box. The Shadow in your head.
[He gazes out behind the mask.]
Tempest: The Lab Rat King against the Tempest. A lab accident against a scientifically horrible perfection. How long have you been Carnage's UltraViolent champion, Lab Rat? An irrelevant question, I guess. What I should ask, is how important is your role in the UltraViolent division? Do you covet the title, as I do mine? When we look into the mirror, will we see each other? Or will I look past you, as an unworthy champion? I know how it feels to be doubted; to be shunned; to be dubbed insignificant.
[The camera has zoomed into Tempest, a black and white masked creature in a mad scientist's basement. This episode has gone off the rails.]
Tempest: You're none of those things. In fact... after we beat the hell out of each other at Incursion, I have an earth-shaking offer to make to you. Only after we absolutely destroy each other, though. You belong. You deserve to be an Astro Creep. We've seen your work. You fit in with us flawlessly. We're offering a cross-promotional position in our... alliance. You call upon us for help, we show up at Carnage and serve you. We call upon you for help, you show up at the Global Coalition and serve us in return. What do you say? From one... lab rat... to another. The Lab Rat King, is an Astro Creep. Shunned by the rest, and embraced by us. An inter-promotional alliance. Think about it, Lab Rat. Just say the word and we'll be well upon our way.
[He grins behind the mask, a sincere, maniacal grin of a mad man.]
Tempest: But let's talk about Incursion. No holds barred. To steal the phrase of a peer, please allow me to introduce myself...
[The camera is now zoomed in only on Tempest down in the lab.]
Tempest: For the last sixteen months, I've regurgitated maggots into the mouth of someone who claimed to be the symbol for the Global Coalition's Chaos division, and shaped the division into my own image. I've passed the torch to the Final Girl, who took the torch and set the World division on fire. I've taken pretty boys and molded them into the assassins they've dreamt of being. I've breathed life into a dying veteran while taking my dying breath, before resurrecting myself a month later. A regular Jesus fucking Christ, if you will. And the whole time, I've been the ghost haunting the Chaos division. A ghost, who finally took what was his for a second time from the Magician. Behind the scenes, and on center stage, I, the Tempest, have re-shaped the Chaos Division. And a cloud of fear looms over the other title holders in my company. A sort of... anxiety... hangs overhead, as our champions hope... pray... that I stay in my own division, and don't decide to cross over, past the purgatory betwixt the air itself... and take practically anything I want to.
[He tilts his head curiously. From off screen, Daedalus steps in, only to set the UGWC Chaos championship over the Tempest's left shoulder.]
Tempest: I don't want to beat you at Incursion, though, Lab Rat. I'm not showing up to have my hand raised victoriously. I don't care about that. And I don't think you do either. I believe, in fact, that all you care about, and all I care about, is inflicting, and enduring, pain... together... like some sort of... cult initiation. So let's bleed together, Lab Rat. Let's die together, just a little. Let's make them remember who put their bodies on the line at Incursion. Will it be our respective world champions? Fuck no! It will be us. Me. You. The Tempest. The Lab Rat King. Trying to kill each other. Stealing the show. Stealing... the main event... from the main eventers. At the end of Incursion... the Global Coalition... and Carnage... will see, that the main event, was Lab Rat King Versus Tempest. And in the end... two Astro Creeps... unified as one, like the Hydra, that the Irishman only dreamt about.
[He smiles behind the mask, pearly white teeth behind a black-painted face.]
Tempest: I only hope, you see things the same way I do. Pain... will bind us, the Lab Rat King and the Tempest, as brothers, in two different spaces of reality. After Incursion, we will show you, the Astro Creeps, that we are loyal, useful monsters... who can shake the world.
[He grins, and the grin melts into a laughter as sick as an infection. The studio audience joins in, as if he had just told the funniest joke they had ever heard. What a fuckin' punchline!]
[The program ends with Tempest grinning behind his mask, Koznar grinning behind his blacked out face paint, and Daedalus grinning behind his humanly deceptive flesh.]