Tempest sits, crouched in the corner of the newly built “studio” down in the Labyrinth. The Underlook is but a skeleton of what it once was. Daedalus stands, seemingly pleased with the studio he’s built. A camera crew is there. So is the director. They’re filming an advertisement. One of those that interrupts your YouTube video when you’re seven minutes into it and already had to suffer through two others before your video even begins.
The director is smug and full of himself. In the short time he’s been in Gnaw Bone, he’s already tried to push his opinion on Daedalus and Tempest. He seems to value his opinion more than any other person at the farmhouse. Or Gnaw Bone. Or Indiana. Or the planet Earth. But he certainly enjoys patting himself on the back and using words that he feels impresses his audience. In reality, it just makes him look like a tool.
Tempest watches him closely as he adjusts the set, setting the can of Sauerkraut in the center of the table. The backdrop is white so it’s going to look as if Tempest is in that television room in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
The Director: Okay, that’s perfect! Now, it’s very important that this advertisement is better than our competitor’s, so that we can get the YouTube deal.
Daedalus: Yes, I have some ideas for that and–
The Director: I’m sure you do, but hear me out. My ideas are better. If you could just be open-minded with me, I’ll explain why.
The next thirty minutes consisted of the director explaining to Daedalus why his ideas were better than the ideas Daedalus has. In the corner, the Spider King smirks. Once finished, the director turns and claps his hands once as though he just delivered an academy award winning speech.
The Director: Okay, places everyone!
The smirk disappears from Tempest’s face as he stands and takes his spot on the set. He crouches with his masked face next to the can of Piggyback Sauerkraut.
The Director: And… Act–
Tempest: Wait.
He stands upright.
Tempest: Do we have to do it this way? I really think we could attract a better audience if we do some of Daedalus’s ideas.
The director stands briefly on his toes, irritated, before clapping his hands once again.
The Director: Yes well… we’ve already tried those ideas in the past and they didn’t work.
Tempest: The exact ideas that Daedalus had?
The Director: Yes, of course. We were extremely transparent with what our product contains and the result was that our customers realized it was just crap in a can. So… how does that help?
Tempest: You could try to improve the product.
The Director: What is there to improve?! Our product is already the best product on the market!
Tempest: How do you know? You’ve only ever been isolated in Piggyback Sauerkraut. You’ve turned a blind eye to the rest of the business, to your competitors, and despite your product’s shitty reviews, ratings, and feedback, you’re in this… this delusion that you have the best product.
Annoyed, the director shakes his head. For a few moments, he doesn’t say anything. How dare this guy have an opinion that doesn’t run parallel with his own.
The Director: I’m unwilling to compromise. I’m set in my ways and if you don’t like it, there’s the door.
He nods in the direction of the studio door. Tempest stares at him, thoroughly confused.
Tempest: This is our property.
The Director: Yup, and there’s the door. I’ll get someone else for this advertisement if you don’t want to do everything my way.
Tempest: We’ve already signed the contract. And… it’s our property. I don’t understand what you’re saying here.
The Director: Do you know who I am?
The Spider King smirks again.
Tempest: I know exactly who you are. You rode the coattails of every partnership you’ve ever been part of. You were a complete nobody in the produce business before you partnered with Tongue-In-Cheek Vegetables. And after that, the Motor-Of-Mayhem Produce Company took you in and you basically claimed that to be your own entity. It wasn’t, by the way. Everyone knows it. And throughout your entire career in this business, you’ve never changed your substance. It’s the same, poor quality sauerkraut that has only stayed relevant because it’s had those better logos stamped on the can. You see, you’re not as great as you think you are, director. You’re actually very off-putting and kind of an asshole. You preach to those you’re trying to work with to have an open mind, you even claim to be a liberal. And yet… you’re the most close-minded individual in the produce business.
Daedalus stands behind the director, trying really hard not to laugh. The director sighs and shakes his head again, completely deflecting Tempest’s insults, and arguably, true statements.
The Director: Can we just do the advertisement?
He holds out a stack of note cards and Tempest reluctantly takes them and begins reading them. He looks up, confused.
Tempest: These are just insults to your rival sauerkraut company. And they’re not even public knowledge. Have you been spying on them? How do you know what they talk about in the bathroom?
The Director: It doesn’t matter how I obtained this information. It’s there.
Tempest: But it’s… impossible. I mean…
The Spider King walks across the room towards the director. He flinches and takes a step back. Tempest chuckles, amused, then stops short, explaining his point by showing the note card to the director.
Tempest: You’d have to have a spy camera in the apartment of the individual you’re insulting. And while it isn’t out of the question, judging by the look on your face, you’re going to explain to me just exactly why your opinion is superior to my own.
The Director: And you are exactly right, my friend. Do you know how long I’ve been doing this poorly? I’ve been doing this poorly for years! And look how successful I’ve been! And if you have an opinion, I’m happy to hear it. As long as it supports my own. Otherwise, you’re wrong. I say it jokingly, and if you call me out on it, it’s a joke. But, seriously though, I’m being serious. My opinion is better than everyone else’s.
Tempest: Ah, yes. That checks out. In the past, when someone has had a concern with your product on twitter, your response was… “I almost cared.”
The director shrugs and offers a careless smile.
Tempest: And you’re comfortable with the size of your customer base being as small as it is. Which is bizarre to me. You think the smaller crowd you have as customers, the higher your product quality is. I just feel like that’s so bass ackwards.
The Director: We offer the best quality product on the market. I think that’s obvious. Just ask our customers… well, no, don’t ask them. The current customers are trash. You can ask our past customers though. Wait, no… Don’t ask them. Their opinions are meaningless. You know what, you can just ask me. My opinion is the only one that matters.
Daedalus and Tempest share a look before Daedalus shrugs helplessly. Tempest rolls his eyes.
Tempest: Okay, let’s just get this out of the way. We’ve already signed the contract so unfortunately we’ll be connected to you forever. Let’s do it.
Satisfied, the director takes his place beyond the camera.
The Director: And…. action!
The Spider King crouches next to the can of Piggyback Sauerkraut and an uncomfortably fake grin spreads on his lips.
Tempest: It’s just cabbage. Buy it. Or don’t. I don’t care anymore. Me? I stopped buying it a long time ago. It’s crap in a can. But if you want an inferior product with a close-minded philosophy… just ask Phrixus Deimos for advice and I’ll bet he’ll tell you… to ask Jet Somers. And he’ll definitely tell you to buy Piggyback Cabbage–I mean Sauerkraut. The great thing about Piggyback Sauerkraut is that it doesn’t matter how bad our reviews are, we still think it’s the best product out there!
The Director: …and CUT! That was phenomenal! I really enjoyed how you improvised to bring Phrixus Deimos into it. It’s gold, man. I’m really glad you finally saw it my way.
Daedalus chuckles behind him but the director is oblivious. He takes his camera crew and leaves, and Moseley Gein smiles genuinely for the first time in a long time.
My name is Moseley Gein. My story with Sebastian will always mean more to me and him than it does to anyone here in this company.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been known as an outcast. You think this is just a character I portray? I’ve spent my entire life as an outsider. I’ve never been part of the cliques in the communities I have been a part of. Including this one.
How many of you can say that you’ve hated someone to such an extreme level that you respect them? I’m sure the Jet Somers, the Zane Scotts, the Dave Rydells, will jump in response and swear up and down that they too, have felt such a thing. But have they really? Do they really respect anyone beyond themselves in this business? I don’t think so. I think they, along with most of the rest of this roster, is so goddamned out of touch it makes me sick. No one here knows how to tell a fucking story anymore. It isn’t about that here. It’s about accolades. You’re nothing without the hardware to back it up with. It’s too bad really. Sarah Lachlan can tell a better story than some of you.
Yeah. I’m looking at you.
Unfortunately, Sebastian has fallen into the abyss of this hardware meaning more than substance. At least… here.
Hello Seb. We’ve got a story to tell, don’t we? A franchise to end.
I always said that you and I are destined to do this forever. I believe you’ve said the same. We weren’t supposed to be entangled in this… web that we’ve both designed together.
I am the Spider King. Everyone knows that.
But you? Well, you’re a spider, too, Sebastian. I know you don’t want to admit it. You couldn’t bear the thought that you’re on the same plane that I am. You’re far too above me to accept such a fate, aren’t you?
Aren’t you?
I am in your head, aren’t I? I can feel it. I can feel you gazing at yourself in the mirror and questioning yourself.
Even now. Even when you’re at the peak of your career. You are the Coalition's Chaos Champion, someone who normally wouldn’t get the recognition, the credibility, and the prestige that you deserve. I say deserve because this company has failed to feature you as their most important champion. They wave off your accomplishments because some of them are jealous of you. Some of them discredit your consistency and rename it boring because they cannot stand to see you succeed.
Me? I’m different. I know what you are. I know who you are. And that’s what makes me the most dangerous potential challenger that you could possibly have to face. And yet…
Even I can’t take that belt off you, Sebastian. I want to. On my home turf, in my hometown, I have every reason to be the one to take that championship off of you.
But I won’t.
Just like we won’t get the ending for a story that they’ve ignored that we deserve. This rivalry should be featured in this company. It should be on a goddamned marquee in the sky, with big bright bulbs and a fucking arrow pointing down at us as we beat each other to bloody pulp.
But we won’t get that, will we Sebastian? Not here. Barely anyone knows this rivalry.
I guess that doesn’t matter, does it? You know it. I know it. After we’re done here, we’ll take it elsewhere. Do you know why?
Because I will follow you. Wherever you go, regardless of the result at Gnaw Bone, I will be there. Behind you. Haunting you. And you will never be able to deny me.
Do you think I have an interest in the Final Girl just because of her? You’re wrong. She is the portal that I pass through to get into you. And it works. Every. Single. Time.
The truth is…
I have to beat you. Sebastian… losing to you on this night, it can’t happen. There is only one result that I can accept. And if I don’t beat you?
If I lose to Sebastian Everett Bryce at the event that was named after me and my Creeps, the true Creeps, the original Creeps… then you will never see Tempest stand in the middle of another UGWC ring again.
The Astro Creeps will leave the Coalition. Daedalus will stay until his duties are fulfilled as the Consortium’s puppet. And then he’ll be gone, too. And we’ll take our name with us. The Astro Creeps will be no more.
But that isn’t going to happen.
You see, you’ve taken something from me.
You’ve taken my vision from me. And you know what they say.
An eye for an eye.
And at Gnaw Bone… like a storm darkening a shore… I’ve got a score to settle.
After I take your eye, your championship, and your girl…
Then I will be satisfied. The moment I see you broken, contorted, and ashamed… like me, is the moment that I will have accomplished everything I’ll ever need to accomplish here. You are the symbol for hope here, Sebastian. That symbol encourages outsiders to come here and actually believe that they can accomplish what you have.
But who will acknowledge your accomplishments? Who will acknowledge theirs?
At Gnaw Bone, I will save you. I will save them. When I take everything from you. You will be reborn with nothing… just like me. But the difference, Seb? Me having nothing is but a stepping stone to the next chapter of my story. For you? If you’re left with nothing, then you’re redefined. You’re the skeletal remains of a man who once was. So, in a way, you have everything to lose at Gnaw Bone.
And now with my new stipulation, so do I.
My career in the Coalition against your legacy in the Coalition.
The right way, without silly advertisements getting between us and the story that we’ve built together.
Sebastian Everett Bryce. I’ve hated you so deeply that it has blossomed to love… and respect.
Across a barren field as far as the eye can see, there is a beautiful flower, by itself. It never had any business growing in this ugly field, and yet… there it is. And that flower is you.
I have to beat you, Seb. I love you. And I respect you. But I hate you so much. And I have to take this from you. All roads point to me taking this from you. The stars are aligned. There isn’t any other way that this can end.
Some may say that I’m desperate.
And I am.
But a man who is desperate is far more dangerous than the man who isn’t.
Isn’t he?
Be seeing you, Seb.